The Not Exactly Dead Zone transcript
(the kids are in the cafeteria, in line to get some hot lunch. They all get chicken nuggets) Alison: Is it just me, or are these nuggets... more off than usual? Julie: You mean aside from the fact that they look and smell like feet? Alison: I mean that they don't even taste like chicken. Jerry: I heard that they banned the chicken extract used on these nuggets. Julie: Thank you DoH, you've made our food suck harder. Becky (scarfing down nuggets): So, what're the complaints? These taste awesome! (everyone looks at her funny.) Becky: Slow on the uptake huh? (intro plays) (Alison is walking to school. She sees something and she takes her shades off to get a better view of it. However, she scares a group of children who see her dead eyes. Alison re-dons her shades and keeps walking, stopping at Colleen's house.) Colleen: Hiya Alison. Alison: Hey Colli... Colleen: What's the matter? Alison: Took my shades off again. Colleen: And? Alison: Scared some children. Colleen: Don't worry about them Alison. They just don't understand- Alison: That I'm a certified freak with the worst looking eyes ever? Colleen: We're in the supernatural cornerstone of the US, you're just ordinary when it comes to the whole scare factor. Alison: I guess, but the eyes best define a person. People take one look at them and, you know. Colleen: Don't worry about it, I think people'd freak out more over your tendency to discuss the history of every company ran by Charles Band. Alison: Don't you be dissing my mad knowledge on horror icons only a handful of people know about! Colleen: Okay, sheesh. If it'll make you feel better we could hang at my place after school. Got a new horror movie, Look into My Eyes. Alison: Ooh! Maybe afterwards we could watch the girl in the beanie who reminded another girl about her unfortunate issue through half-hearted symbolism. Colleen: You're a riot Ali. (Colleen gives her a playful punch in the arm.) Alison: And you need to hit the half-pound more often. (Alison returns the punch.) Colleen: Touche. (the two go to school, unknowingly passing by a truck delivering chicken nuggets.) (at school, Alison and Colleen meet up with Julie, Becky, Sam, Jerry and Jenny. Jerry: Hey girls, what's shaking? Colleen: A little friction with kids, a tiff over an 80s horror mogul. Sam: The usual? Alison: Yup. (Alison's shades get snatched.) Alison: Oh you've got to me kidding! Clifford: Heheh, look at her heheh. Sam: Real original Clifford. Clifford: I just got back from the dentist, got too much laughing gas, and this is too funny.) Julie: My mother told me to let people stand up for themselves, but- Kid: The Elites are coming! (everyone but the main kids and the bully run.) Sam: Be still, they can see fear. (Francis, Ruth, Ashley, Fiona, Randall, Tommy, Marie, Georgina, Phoebe, Elizabeth, Dolly, Suzy, Angela, Dante, Leland and Tiberius walk into the hall and come across the others.) Francis: Clifford, we've been over this. Who're you trying to kid? Clifford: I'm just trying to fulfill a stereotype! (the Elites see Alison leaning forward on her locker, lightly sobbing) Randall: Well you succeeded and then some. (Randall takes out a notepad.) Randall: Let's see, third offense this week, looks like you'll be holding a spot for us at lunch for the next- Leland: RUNNER! Randall: This happens every time. Angela: On it! (Angela, Dante and Fiona pursue Clifford, tackling him.) Francis: Tell you what Clifford, why don't you just give back what you stole and we'll let you go. Clifford: Pssh, fine! They're busted anyways. Thanks for letting me go free bo- (Clifford is cuffed.) Angela: What's that mincemeat? Ashley, get those back to Alison. Ashley: Whatever. Huh, you know I never got to see Alison without her sh- (Ashley gags at the sight of Alison's eyes. She grabs the shades and tries her best to fix them, but they don't work. Alison resumes facing the wall.) Elizabeth: Okay, how serious is it? Colleen: She has this super rare eye disorder that, well, you could piece together. Georgina: Oh dear. I would never wish such ugliness on anyone, well except for Madonna, and myself (the bullies come back with Clifford.) Tiberius: Fell for the ol' I'll let you go free trick? Dante: Just like last time. What's the punishment? Randall: Let's see, running from the authorities- Jenny: He broke Alison's glasses. Randall: That too. The original sentence stands, but now he has to wait in line with his pants down. Sam: A little light, don't you think? Randall: Excuse me? Colleen: What about emotional trauma? Randall: Don't tell me you're pitying the jack- Colleen: I mean Alison! She has to spend the rest of the day with her eyes exposed, heck, people might be extra mean and call her a monster. Randall: Man... I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone. Suzy: It's not like shades are expensive, just get her another pair. Elizabeth: I suppose, but let's hope it's not a sentimental rift she's undergoing. Dolly: Totally for making it up to her. (the rest agree.) Francis: Hello!? Aren't you going to run it by me? Marie: You'd probably say no. Francis: Why're you saying that like it's a bad thing? I can't help anyone if they never did anything for me. Family creed. Sam: Well as long as you don't join in on the inevitable mockery. Ashley: We have the incredible hulk in our ranks, and sometimes an ogre. (an ogre walks by) Helga: Hey guys. All: Hey Helga. Ashley: But we're not heartless. Here's hoping the rest of the school is more of the same. (in class, Alison keeps a book in front of her face) Ms. Chapley: Meeks, you'll have plenty of time to read at the end of the day, but now our lesson should be your main concern. Alison: I'd rather not. Ms. Chapley: At least give me an idea on why you're being disobedient. (Alison puts the book down and reveals her eyes.) Ms. Chapley: I see- *gag* (Alison puts her head down.) Ms. Chapley: You could go to the nurse if you want. Nurse Sonja is too nice for her own good, maybe she'll let you go early. Alison: Holding out for that. (Alison rushes to the nurse's office.) (In the office, Sonja checks on her eyes.) Sonja: Oh my, I've never seen eyes of this nature. Alison: Thanks, you're not the first to come to that conclusion. Do you have any shades? I'm supposed to wear them, doctors orders. Sonja: Oh my, you want to look cool? Well I wear glasses and I'm pretty cool. Alison: But I could see just fine. i could read all of the rows of letters on the eye chart, even the copyright information and that's usually ignored. Now, the doctors prescribed me shades that are meant to cover my eyes. In case you still don't believe me my eyes are sensitive to extensive sunlight and I could possibly go blind. I don't want to look cool, I want to maintain the ability to look. Are you getting this? Sonja: Uh.... You shouldn't let people make fun of you for wearing glasses- Alison: It's not about the glasses you idiot! If anything, the glasses you want me to wear will only make my freakish eyes more visible! Sonja: Relax, how about we play a game of wrestling? Alison: I don't think so. Sonja: The way I did it is how its done on TV- Alison: I get wrestling, but, that's not what a grown woman should do to a child. I gotta get out of here, my mind is sweltering. (Alison rushes out of the room and goes to the restroom. She throws water onto her face and weeps. Most of the elites are present.) Georgina: Not having the best of days, eh? Alison: You stay away from me. Phoebe: We don't want to make fun of you. Alison: Then why won't you look at me? Angela: Look Alison, we can't always be one hundred percent supportive. Heck, we're a group dedicated to mild archetypes. But we're willing to listen. If you can, spill it. (Alison takes a deep breath.) Alison: I was in kindergarten when it happened. (it cuts to a flashback through Alison's perspective.) Alison: My eyes were normal at the time, but when I entered my class for the first time, kids were afraid of me. It wasn't until I got a glimpse in the mirror that I saw, you know. (the flashback ends) Alison: I had to go home early, and went right to the doctor afterwards. That's when I got my shades. I cried because they could help people see the real me. I just couldn't go through another day with people running away from me. (Alison walks out of the bathroom.) Phoebe: Clear. (Ashley and Fiona get out of a nearby stall.) Ashley: Sorry, but we just couldn't look at her. Fiona: It stinks that she had to go through all of that though. Ashley: Is there anything we could do now? Marie: Beats me, but let's hope the trio has better luck than we do. (Alison goes into her backpack to look for her stuff.) Alison: Hey, my sharpener's gone. (Alison goes out to look for it and feels a pair of sunglasses drop down on her.) Dolly: Now it's like today totally didn't happen! Alison: First of all they're prescription sunglasses, I could only get a new pair every week. Second, well I guess there isn't a second. Elizabeth: Well we were pressed for ideas. We just wanted to make you happy. Alison: You can't. Nobody can't. How could anyone live with ugly eyes staring back at petrified children. I'll just live life with that cruel curse. Suzy: Didn't you say those shades come in every week? Alison: Yeah, but that's like an eternity to me. Elizabeth: Look Alison, we can't help you to the extent you wish, but we really want to try. So level with me, is there anything we could do? Alison: Well, I could use a drink. Dolly: A soda it totally is! (they leave the area.) (in an adjacent classroom, a gloved hand activates a bunsen burner and pours gas onto the floor. It drops the burner and causes a fire. Francis is in the room doing an extra credit assignment. She sees the fire.) Francis: Oh my god! (Francis pounds on the door and tries to open it, but its locked. Francis: HELP- *cough cough* HELLLLP! (Alison passes the room and sees it's on fire. She hears someone pounding on the door.) Alison: We need to get in there! Oh, if only I had something to break the door- (Alison stops as Dolly hands her a hatchet.) Alison: Wow. (Alison breaks the door, allowing Francis to get out.) Francis: Y-you... you saved my life... Alison: Of course I did. Francis: Then that means... Ashley: You owe her a favor. Francis: That I do. Family creed. Okay Alison, how could I repay you? Alison: Could I get anything I want? Francis: For saving my life, anything, and for the record money isn't an issue, my daddy's part of the state legislature. Alison: There is one thing I want more than anything in the whole wide world. Ashley: Here we go. Alison: I had to deal with years of ridicule and hiding away from it. But now that I have this chance... I want new eyes. Would that be too much to ask for? Francis: Call this a bizarre coincidence, but my family has a doctor who's a trained ophthalmologist. Meet me by the bus stop at the end of the day, and your wish will be granted. Now if you'll excuse me. (Francis walks away.) Dolly: Well how about it Ali? You totally got your wish! Angela: Yeah, that was surprisingly easy. Alison: I'm pretty happy about that. (Alison enters the bathroom and dances in pure excitement) (later on, Alison is taken to Francis' house. She gets examined by the doctor.) Doctor: Hmmm... this condition is new to me. Alison: Said like my main doctor. Doctor: Nevertheless, it's nothing a little surgery can't fix. (hands her a bottle.) Doctor: Drink this. (Alison drinks it and gags.) Alison: Ech, what is that? Doctor: A little medicine. Alison: Why does it taste like something out of my dad's cellar? Doctor: Well what do you want? I'm not made of money. Besides, the bitterer the taste, the betterer the medicine. Alison: Are you sure-er-er? Doctor: Shut up-er-er. (he lays her back.) Doctor: You'll feel a pinch. (it cuts to the outside of the door, and Alison is heard screaming.) Doctor: Ahem, a pinch given by a cyborg crab it seems. (the elites and Halloween Kids are soon present. They see Alison's eyes are bandaged up.) Doctor: It's time. (the doctor removes the bandages and everyone gasps and smiles.) Alison: Do I look, normal? Colleen: Have a looksy. (Colleen hands her a mirror and Alison sees her new eyes.) Alison: *screams* I'm... finally complete! (the next day, Alison is walking to school. She sees the kids that she scared previously and surprises them with her new eyes. She then sees them in the street, about to be run over by a truck.) Alison: Lookout! (the kids stop, just before they could walk into the street and get hit by a truck.) Alison: I'M HAPPY TO SEE CLEARLY! Woman: Quit your braggin'! I'm happy to see to, at least until my medication wears off. Ah, there it goes. (Alison rushes over to school and greets her friends.) Alison: Hey guys. Colleen: Hey Alison, enjoying your new eyes? Alison: You kidding? I feel anew. Julie: I just wish you didn't waste your one favor- Alison: Oh zip it- (Alison sees that a light fixture is about to fall onto Julie. Alison pushes her out of the way.) Julie: Okay I went too far! Alison: It's not that. If you stayed where you were then you would've been crushed- (the light fixture falls.) Alison: See? Julie: Hey look, a potentially negative connotation. Sam: I think it's on a much grander scale than that. You ever read The Dead Zone? Julie: I'm waiting for a movie or TV show to be made from it. Sam: It seems that Alison now has the ability to see future events five seconds into the future. Obviously, she could only see bad things so... (Sam grabs Alison.) Sam: Is anything going to happen to me!? Alison: Actually, yes! Someone's going to shove you into a locker and break the latch. (Sam sees who's going to do it and stomps on his foot.) Sam: Perhaps this doesn't have to be such a bad thing. Alison: As long as people don't call me a nut job. Colleen: At least they won't call you a freak. (the day goes well, nobody is in distress. Everyone goes to the cafeteria after a while, where Kadic makes an announcement.) Kadic: Wonderful news everyone, we've got a new shipment of chicken nuggets, and they're better than the ones we had before. (everyone cheers.) Kadic: Have some samples! (Kadic sends plates of the nuggets to everyone and they eat.) Alison: New eyes, nuggets that don't taste like crap, things are looking up. Colleen: I'll say. Now, with your little gift, let's see how good this really is. (Alison looks around and sees a boy gorging on nuggets. She gets a vision of him getting carried into a room and put into an oven.) Alison: Could it- No... Colleen: What's the matter? Alison: Oh nothing. Cannibalism, chicken nuggets, too early to jump to conclusions. Fiona: Did somebody reference human bodies? (Fiona eats more nuggets while Francis approaches her.) Francis: Are you enjoying your new eyes Alison? Alison: Oh Francis you have no idea- Er, could you take a few steps to the right? Francis: Oh-kay... (Francis does so and some plaster falls where she was previously standing.) Francis: How did you-? Colleen: Say hello to the weird subject of today. Francis: Great, now I owe you another favor. Alison: I'll take a rain check. Francis: You're the greatest. Alison: Now for the job at hand. Keeping this under wraps. (Alison notices the students are huddled around her.) Alison: Never mind. (later, Alison is in the hall.) Alison: You're all going to be fine. Now quit bugging me! (the others leave with sheer indifference. Her friends rejoin her.) Colleen: How're you holding out? Alison: Part of me wants to miss my old life, but then again I'd have to be nuts to want to go back to be a freak. But that's not important... (a closeup reveals a blood vessel bursting in Alison's eye. A crowd of people approach Alison.) Alison: Cover for me! (Alison runs off.) Colleen: You owe me! (Alison bumps into a student and sees a vision of him getting a tube ran through his mouth.) Alison: My mind's... a blank. Kid: Deep. (Alison runs and gets constant visions of kids getting put into ovens, fire pits and having tubes run through their mouths. She runs into the bathroom.) Alison: Darn these eyes! Why is that whenever I do some good for myself I have to suffer for it? Only one thing to do. (Alison rushes over to a soap pump with the intent of covering her eyes in it, but Colleen pulls her back.) Colleen: You can't do this Ali! Don't let a bunch of curious jerks drive you to blinding yourself! Alison: I've dealt with visions of cannibalism and crooked science within the last five minutes, this is an even greater curse. Think I'll get my old eyes back and douse myself in radiation to get a body to match. Colleen: You're wasting your time. Alison: What happened to the supportive nice Colleen who would keep her mouth shut on things like this? Colleen: You mean sensible Colleen? She can't do jack. (Alison grabs Colleen's shoulders and goes toward her ear.) Alison: Fight back sensible Colleen, together we could win! Colleen: It's no use. (inside Colleen's head is a muscular angel version of her and a lanky evil version of her in prison rings.) Evil Colleen: Oh come on Angel Colleen let me out. I dug you out of that grave didn't I? (Angel Colleen slaps Evil Colleen) Angel Colleen: Keep talking and I'll do to you what I did to sensible Colleen! (it shows an unconscious rendition of Colleen) (back out) Colleen: Could you at least tell me why you're fling flonging on something you wanted more than half of a candy bar? Alison: Everywhere I look, I see the same things. People getting thrown into an oven, having tubes stuck down their throats, something's going down on a serious scale, like that gremlin on the wing and the only one who could see it, and I'm that guy. Colleen: I'm pretty sure that gremlin was an amalgamation of aerophobia. Alison: Well I'm going by the movie adaptation on that one. Colleen: Right. Now hear me out, if you blind yourself after the fact that you witnessed a foretelling of a grizzly fate, you'd live with demons for the rest of your life. Alison: Well how bad could it be? Nothing a little- Colleen: ALISON! Alison: Okay I'll talk! But you're gonna help me. Colleen: I don't think I'd have any say on that, I am the obligatory sidekick. At least it'll give me a chance to work out this neat idea I had. Alison: Don't tell me. (it fades to Alison at a stand with Colleen) Alison: Read your future, genuine answers. Colleen: Ahem. Alison: Five bucks a query. Why? Colleen: You'll see. (Leland comes forward) Leland: Fire away you little ol' creep. (Alison looks at him and sees him sweating with a tube down his throat while he's lying above a strainer. It looks like he's in the kitchen.) Alison: Uh... don't go to the cafeteria today. Leland: Aw, today's my hot lunch day. Guess I'm going hungry. Randall: Don't worry, we've got you covered. Clifford! (Clifford comes over with his lunch.) Clifford: Jerks. (Curtis comes forward) Curtis: Ahem, will I ever find love? Alison: It's future readings, not fortune readings. Curtis: Okay, will I find love in the future? (Alison looks him in the eyes and gets a vision of him watching Wheel of Fortune and enjoying it) Alison: Through a TV screen, yes. Curtis: Huh, you know I was thinking of skipping the Wheel tonight, but if you're right I think my mind is set. Colleen: That'll be five bucks please. Curtis: Sure, five bucks and I'll throw in a detention plus two weeks on lunch duty. Alison: Woah, not good! Uh, can we think this over? Curtis: You're lucky all I have to do is proofread graded tests. (Alison and Colleen huddle together.) Colleen: What's the gist? Alison: I think this has something to do with the cafeteria. Colleen: You don't think... Alison: What? No! That's disgusting. But something is definitely going down there. Got a lot of glimpses of the kitchen. Colleen: So yay or nay on the detention and lunch duty? Alison: ...yay. HEY RANDALL! Randall: What? Alison: We need you to negotiate a payment with us. Randall: My specialty! (Randall comes over to them.) Curtis: Right, Alison and Colleen want to charge me, and I plan on charging them with detention and service in the cafeteria. Randall: How many nights? Curtis: One week detention, two weeks service. Randall: How's about I talk you down to one day for each. Curtis: That'll be five dollars. Randall: Two dollars and fifty cents for you and my clients, for one day for each punishment. Ms. Chapley: CURTIS! THE FAX MACHINE'S BUSTED! GET OVER HERE BEFORE SOMEONE CALLS THE COMPANY! Curtis: Sold. See you in detention. (Curtis lays down money.) Randall: Okay, spill it, what was that about? Colleen: Something about the cafeteria and people getting cooked with tubes down their throats. Randall: Call it a stretch, but do you think it has any connection to the new chicken nuggets? Alison: I sure hope not! If so then we'd have to go back to the old formula, and that I will not stand for! Randall: Whatever the case, it sounds like a Halloween Kid thing. Colleen: What'd be an Elite thing in this case? Randall: I'd tell you, but then I'd have to be transferred to the Nova Scotia chapter, AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR THAT! ???: Randall, come join us for a talk on finance. Randall: I gotta take this. (Randall walks away.) Colleen: I just had a thought. Didn't your predictions happen five seconds after you noticed them? Alison: Yeah, what's your point? Colleen: Well there's the fact that the hallway's barren. I'm assuming the worst. Alison: I hope not. I can't wait any longer, I need closure, the chance to fix this and hopefully resume living life 90 percent normal. Colleen: Well then, get on your hands and knees. (Alison joins Colleen on the floor. A wipe transition occurs and they wind up in a classroom after hours.) Alison: Huh. Ms. Chapley: Alright folks, well, two folks, I don't want to hear any chatter out of you two, yada yada yada, oh forget it, what's the harm in two people talking? Alison: Can I... predict your future? Ms. Chapley: Go right ahead. (Alison looks directly at her and sees a vision of Ms. Chapley being granted the 1 millionth visitor at a donut shop.) Alison: If you go to Duncan's Donuts right now, you'll be in for a big surprise. Ms. Chapley: Well I could use a recharge. I'd say don't misbehave, but that hasn't stopped anyone before. (Ms. Chapley leaves the room.) Alison: Time to- What're you doing? Colleen: You know I never got the chance to see what everyone keeps under their desks. Now or never. Alison: I cave. Maybe we'll get lucky and find clues to the you know what situation. (Colleen looks under Dolly's desk and finds some dolls) Colleen: Oh-kay? (Alison looks under Phoebe's desk and sees a portal to the underworld.) Alison: Shocker. (Colleen looks under Elizabeth's desk and sees a Korean animation studio and a man with a whip.) Man: SHUT THE DOOR! (Alison looks under Suzy's desk and finds additional election numbers for Al Gore) Alison: Nothing interesting here. (Colleen is heard screaming.) Colleen: I f-found something! (Alison looks inside.) Alison: Bugs Bunny? Dude I know you hate the show but- Colleen: Look to the left. (the two see Julie) Alison: What're you doing here? Julie: I got detention for making Principal Kadic miss the wheel. Colleen: How- Julie: I held him over for four minutes trying to get to the bottom of everyone suddenly dropping off the face of the Earth. Colleen: Really? Us too. We're looking for any possible ideas for what's happening. Julie: Personally I'm seeking a more reasonable explanation. Alison: I think I found a bridge to that gap. (the three see a note attached to Randall's desk.) Colleen *reading the note*: If you're reading this I have been kidnapped by a greater force. Julie: That could mean anything. Alison *reading*: I'm about to get hauled away by the lunchroom staff, I have the time to write this because I overheard them talking on the way here. Julie: I doubt it immediately means our lunchroom. Alison: P.S., it's our exact lunchroom. Julie: That could be from any joker. Colleen: This is Randall's desk. Julie: That could've been planted. Alison: Signed, Randall. Julie: That could be any Randall. (Alison turns over the note and reveals a picture of Randall on the back of it with the note (this Randall in particular)) Colleen: Let me guess, you're scared right? Julie: Wow, you're the kind of person who wants to throw it all out there don't you? Yes, I am scared. I'm scared over the fact that my bodily fluids will be put toward making the best nuggets we've had since New England's Millennium party. I'm scared that I'm a borderline cannibal for enjoying those nuggets... I'm not a rock, I get scared like everyone else. Why do people always turn to me for guidance? Alison: Well, why did people run away from me years ago? Why did I have to wear shades before my eye surgery from the nether-realm? Colleen: Why is it that I have so few friends when I have such a colorful personality? Julie: Uh... pass. Alison: It's just one minor trait that brings out the worst in us, at least by our definition. When this is over I'm probably going to get my old eyes back, scare some people with how inhumanly ugly they are and then cry myself to sleep. Colleen: I'll spend the night awake trying to get her to sleep faster so I don't have to vouch for her come morning. Julie: Okay, moral quota aside we seriously need to get to the cafeteria and solve this crap. (the lights go out) Colleen: And quickly, I think THOSE people know were in here. (the three exit the room and go to the cafeteria. They enter the kitchen and find everything is normal.) Julie: I'd say case close, but- Alison/Colleen: You need more than five seconds to determine that? Julie: Something needs to be abolished. (The three look around until they hear crowing behind a cabinet.) Alison: My grim theory's about to become true, isn't it? (the three look behind the cabinet and see the students in cages. The crowing is coming from Randall.) Angela: Will you stop? Randall: I do this when I'm scared. (the three sigh in relief.) Julie: So now what. ???: The cafeteria doesn't open until noon! (the three scream and see a butcher behind them.) Alison: Wait, don't tell us. Colleen: We've seen too much. Julie: We're going to die. Alison: Maybe before that you'd give us some painful exposition. ???: Perhaps, but who would believe a bunch of kids anyways. Julie: If so, could you tell us what you're doing, and your name. ???: It's Pat, and I'm just following orders. Colleen: Which are...? Pat: I've been told that there's a recipe for artificial chicken nuggets that taste better than the brand schools across New England receive. It takes sweat and stomach juice to make it, so I extract it from students then set them free if they promise to keep their mouths shut on it. They didn't. Julie: If it wasn't for the connotations, I'd praise you for making some of New England's best chicken nuggets. ???: Praise the one that came up with it. (the four look and see Nurse Sonja enter the room.) Sonja: It wasn't about making the best nuggets. Pat: You told me it was. Sonja: Silence! This young girl, as in you Alison, was peer pressured into wearing sunglasses because regular glasses made her feel embarrassed. These students shall be punished for bullying her. Pat: Uh... Alison: She's delusional, let's just go with that. Sonja: You all know too much, you must suffer for it! (Colleen and Julie run for the door.) Julie: See ya later, stinky gator! Sonja: Nobody will harm you now Alison. Alison: Stay away from me you freak! Sonja: We could have a nice life together. (Sonja walks towards her, but Pat knocks her out. The lights go on.) Alison: You... you saved my life. Even if I saw too much. Pat: I grew up in Hollywood, I've seen this kind of thing unfold one too many times. Alison: You've earned yourself a get out of serving a full sentence in jail card. Pat: But... Alison: Remove my friends, and well, everyone else. Pat: If anyone asks, it's all Sonja's fault. Alison: I'll tell Principal Kadic in the morning. ???: No need. (the two look and find Principal Kadic by the ordering window.) Alison: What're you doing here? Curtis: Julie held me over here. I thought I could catch the Wheel by wiring a cable box to the TV in the AV room, but- Alison: You killed the juice. Curtis: Don't rub it in. Alison: I won't, but only if you revoke my and Colleen's detention, and lunch duty too. Curtis: I guess you want to do it with Dallow too, right? Alison: Wouldn't hurt. Curtis: Fine. Now, what seems to be the problem. Pat: Nurse Sonja kidnapped students and put their sweat and stomach acid in the batter for our chicken nuggets. Curtis: Are you serious!? I ate that crap! SONJA! Sonja *waking up*: Listen to me, and listen good. Sonja: Are you into me? Curtis: Cute, you're fired. Sonja: You can't- Curtis: Oh yes I can, I'm sick of you and your blissful ignorance. I don't want you anywhere near this school anymore. Sonja: I can never come back, ever? Curtis: Not until I ask you to, and you know when that'll be? Sonja: When hell freezes over? Curtis: When hell freezes over and Woody Harrelson joins the devil on a romantic sleigh ride. Sonja: You may fire me, but I'll always be there for Alison! Curtis: Oh that reminds me. (Curtis cuffs her to a table and calls the police. The kids are let free and Francis joins her.) Francis: Can't believe you saved me three times in one day. Alison: I know, it's too contrived to be true! Francis: Given the fact that if you hadn't come here I'd be treated like a pig at a slaughter house, how would you like another free wish? Alison: Well, there was this one wish that's been biting me in the butt all day. Don't know how long I wanted this but- (grabbing Francis) Alison: GET THESE GOD FORSAKEN EYES OUT OF MY SOCKETS! Francis: Okay okay! I still have your old ones on reserve, are you sure you want to go back to scaring people then crying in the bathroom? Alison: Believe me, that'll be heaven compared to what I had to go through today. I have newfound appreciation for being a freak. Francis: You seem to be forgetting that we're in a school populated by supernatural beings. Alison: So let's just do this thing and be done with it. (it cuts to Alison under going surgery) Doctor: Good as new. (he hands her a mirror. It shatters after Alison looks at it.) Alison: Never thought I'd miss that. Doctor: Now, how're you going to go about living with those sores? Alison: I... didn't think that one through. I don't even have my shades anymore. ???: Take a look! (Colleen comes over with Alison's shades, repaired.) Alison: My shades, but, how, what did you- Colleen: That's why I charged people money for you to predict their futures. I didn't want you to suffer with those eyes, I just needed more time to get those shades fixed so you'd be ready when you get your normal eyes back. (Alison puts her shades on.) Colleen: Who's the greatest best friend in the known universe? Alison: Nobody, but you come pretty close. Colleen: Oh shut up. (both playfully punch each other and laugh) (it then goes to Francis' house. Francis is playing in her room when her father comes in.) Francis: Hi dad. Lars: You missed dinner. Francis: Hey, I nearly died or at the very least got first hand experience of life in a slaughter house, cut me a break. Lars: Leave that as it may, I got you some pizza and a glass of birch beer. (he sets it on a folding table near her bed.) Francis: Thank you. Uh, hey dad, while you're here... Lars: I don't think you're ready for the birds and- Francis: No, not that. It's about this girl... Lars: I know you're curious but- Francis: GIVE ME TIME TO FINISH BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR CRAZY ASSUMPTIONS! Anyway, there's this girl, she's part of a revival of... How do I put this? Lars: Let me guess, the Halloween Kids? Francis: Yes. Lars: I think I told you about them a while back. Why're you suddenly interested in them again? Francis: Well, I get that the original Halloween Kids were evil, what with their cult-like mentality. I want to believe the same about the modern version but... the leader... saved my life. Lars: Oh? Francis: If she was evil like the rest of her friends, she would've left me to die. Thing of it is, she's a lot more human than I thought she'd be. She hated being a freak. Heck, a lot of her friends are pretty human, well, metaphorically of course. Lars: Well we're all generally human, well, save for Helga. Don't trim those, I have a special gardener for that! Helga: Sorry Mr. Perrino! Lars: What're you driving at? Francis: I think the Halloween Kids are more afraid of the world than we are of them. Lars: Well, if you feel that way, maybe you could be their friend? You'd make a great one for sure. Francis: Oh, daddy! (Francis hugs her) Lars (thought): You know that was very hollow. Lars: Shut up brain! My daughter loves me, I don't need you anymore. Duh, yeah, I'm daddy. (the doorbell is heard) Francis; I'll get it. (Francis runs out. Lars checks his watch.) Lars: Oh man, I forgot to catch the wheel. I need to think of something else to watch. Lars (thought): Well well, look who came crawling back. (Francis goes to the door and finds the Halloween Kids.) Francis: What's up? Julie: There's a cool new movie playing in the Showbox, you up for it? Francis: Isn't that more of a friend thing? Alison: But you are our friend. Francis: I am? Colleen: After everything you've done, we have a good reason to believe it. Francis: Okay, I'm in. (the gang walks to the exit.) Alison: You're a heck of a lot better than I thought you were Francis. Colleen: Yeah, we thought you'd brush us off as evil monsters. Francis: Oh guys, you have no idea. (end)